Thursday, November 12, 2009

Excavation: katadesmos at Pella





The hunters remarked that they had been careful, with a brush
To remove the dark, and took only sure shots when the monitors
Were watching. Joining ranks--vital questions subsumed a dull luster.
Like the ones before it. With curses to ensure that the stock will continue
Dwindling or a top floor go up contorted. Obvious abuses. To the bridegroom 
Whose linen canopy catches fire, all those matches are struck and lost.


This appeal to the old wisdom, betray us that the chaos might not be lost.
The buried scripture of some house girl, by the brisk strokes of a wire brush
Bore in us relation to our burdens, of which the number varies, as bridegrooms
Play themselves out. The feel of a thrown napkin gaining permanence--monitors

The master grid, or as some official commented, "a little kvetching continued
In the vein of the schoolchild's faint lead-pencil missive" underscores the luster


Of writing, deprivation, in each neither exist as a single voice. We sense a lackluster
Gaze, our own conserved honor set to Deianeira or Medea's careful instructions. Lost
Are the reputations of all his houses. Thus ends this segment of a program continued
Next week. On more recent surveys, beyond the game of dry numbers, is desire brushing
Against us. Only it could be dropped from air, landing in our beds, wounding none. Monitors
Expect that it would in the turnover unless she herself uncovers the scroll. The bridegroom,


Who stood by and said nothing, anyway decided on a future course. He is a bridegroom   
In our sketches, as it has always been a hunting culture. Recovery is disintegrating the luster, 
A tablet of the just-beyond. Her charm in the gray leached layer is unfolded, once monitoring
Such sunken hope, yet this antrum of dark blood and misery of its builders was feared lost.
For her sake these events did not go unwatched nor sheltered in the ear. For effigies to brush 
Against, vines and blackened tusks. Not far from tears. What is half-forgotten continued


On this low altar binding us with the animals. Insatiable night-callers outside our windows continue
Revising her fate. It never made into guidebooks what tenants started and gave up, a bridegroom's
Insistence to never honor any gods. Moved by the column but never the intertwined serpent brushing

Against the hemlines of widows and maidens taking cuttings from the garden. Their luster
Fades like the rest of their well-worn items, a beaded collar, a headrest, bedsheets lost
In their intended effects--nestled meek and faithful to one lady of the house, the monitor



And the hopes she has for herself. Aspirations consummately met. The message monitored
From the overlooking hillside, and emerging no easier from her resolve was the wish to continue
Living the lie for the retribution later. Was she lowborn, who wrote first in plaster, to be lost
On the accursed? Letting the sun stream on a particular line, before it was devoted to a bridegroom
Who lived with her? She committed it to lead on seeing her rival's beautiful bead work. Luster

Against her length in his bed, the author brings us one step closer to that--we brush her off


Whose lover is apparently about to marry, she monitored her, careful with the brush.
Sure that the stock will continue sure as curses, earthquake victims as bridegrooms 

Issue to lustrous, torch-lit bowers. Recovery disintegrates the hunters, her move in the dark.




  
  











14 comments:

Σφιγξ said...

I understand your point, Cousus de fil d'or by de Duve and the mitos, or thread, pulled through a labyrinthine complex. Colchine, from purple crocus threads arrests the cell at prophase when the spindle forms to segregate the daughter chromosomes, for karyotyping. I just read confession as an end word, and immediately froze before this ominous artifact.

Σφιγξ said...

Colchicine*

Σφιγξ said...

I had a strange interaction yesterday. I did not provide direct care to this surgeon and his wife, who attended the same church-social club with my parents when we were children. He was readmitted with cancer therapy-induced heart failure (LVEF <10%), and in the phase of bargaining with all the interventions, and impossibly arrogant. I was asked as the charge to deaccess his implanted port for discharge, and I supervised the task of a student instead. I did not think being too close to the glory would sit well as a child all grown up with this couple.

Anyhow, there was much ado, since he surgically implanted these, about using an occlusive dressing on his glabrous skin, even though leaving the skin open is an infection risk. I defer as much as possible to save myself the trouble, and I urged this girl to do so when we went in there.

I will always proceed with the indignities of dying, including my own, with the attitude that I am one person, and I did not decide these things. Across the hall, a 99 year-old woman who survived the camps, DP camps, and two husbands lamented not being able to go home (because of the holiday) with chronic anemia sustained with iron tabs and Ensure, and donning her snow parka in July.

THE THUNDER, PERFECT MIND (Gnostic scroll found at Nag Hammadi in 1945)

...future source material*

Translated by George W. MacRae

I was sent forth from the power,
and I have come to those who reflect upon me,
and I have been found among those who seek after me.
Look upon me, you who reflect upon me,
and you hearers, hear me.
You who are waiting for me, take me to yourselves.
And do not banish me from your sight.
And do not make your voice hate me, nor your hearing.
Do not be ignorant of me anywhere or any time. Be on your guard!
Do not be ignorant of me.
For I am the first and the last.
I am the honored one and the scorned one.
I am the whore and the holy one.
I am the wife and the virgin.
I am and the daughter.
I am the members of my mother.
I am the barren one
and many are her sons.
I am she whose wedding is great,
and I have not taken a husband.
I am the midwife and she who does not bear.
I am the solace of my labor pains.
I am the bride and the bridegroom,
and it is my husband who begot me.
I am the mother of my father
and the sister of my husband
and he is my offspring.
I am the slave of him who prepared me.
I am the ruler of my offspring.
But he is the one who begot me before the time on a birthday.
And he is my offspring in (due) time,
and my power is from him.
I am the staff of his power in his youth,
and he is the rod of my old age.
And whatever he wills happens to me.
I am the silence that is incomprehensible
and the idea whose remembrance is frequent.
I am the voice whose sound is manifold
and the word whose appearance is multiple.
I am the utterance of my name.

[...]

Σφιγξ said...

Why, you who hate me, do you love me,
and hate those who love me?
You who deny me, confess me,
and you who confess me, deny me.
You who tell the truth about me, lie about me,
and you who have lied about me, tell the truth about me.
You who know me, be ignorant of me,
and those who have not known me, let them know me.
For I am knowledge and ignorance.
I am shame and boldness.
I am shameless; I am ashamed.
I am strength and I am fear.
I am war and peace.
Give heed to me.
I am the one who is disgraced and the great one.
Give heed to my poverty and my wealth.
Do not be arrogant to me when I am cast out upon the earth,
and you will find me in those that are to come.
And do not look upon me on the dung-heap
nor go and leave me cast out,
and you will find me in the kingdoms.
And do not look upon me when I am cast out among those who
are disgraced and in the least places,
nor laugh at me.
And do not cast me out among those who are slain in violence.
But I, I am compassionate and I am cruel.
Be on your guard!
Do not hate my obedience
and do not love my self-control.
In my weakness, do not forsake me,
and do not be afraid of my power.
For why do you despise my fear
and curse my pride?
But I am she who exists in all fears
and strength in trembling.
I am she who is weak,
and I am well in a pleasant place.
I am senseless and I am wise.
Why have you hated me in your counsels?
For I shall be silent among those who are silent,
and I shall appear and speak,
Why then have you hated me, you Greeks?
Because I am a barbarian among the barbarians?
For I am the wisdom of the Greeks
and the knowledge of the barbarians.
I am the judgement of the Greeks and of the barbarians.
I am the one whose image is great in Egypt
and the one who has no image among the barbarians.
I am the one who has been hated everywhere
and who has been loved everywhere.
I am the one whom they call Life,
and you have called Death.
I am the one whom they call Law,
and you have called Lawlessness.
I am the one whom you have pursued,
and I am the one whom you have seized.
I am the one whom you have scattered,
and you have gathered me together.
I am the one before whom you have been ashamed,
and you have been shameless to me.
I am she who does not keep festival,
and I am she whose festivals are many.
I, I am godless,
and I am the one whose God is great.
I am the one whom you have reflected upon,
and you have scorned me.
I am unlearned,
and they learn from me.
I am the one that you have despised,
and you reflect upon me.
I am the one whom you have hidden from,
and you appear to me.
But whenever you hide yourselves,
I myself will appear.
For whenever you appear,
[...]

Σφιγξ said...

I myself will hide from you.
Those who have [...] to it [...] senselessly [...].
Take me [... understanding] from grief.
and take me to yourselves from understanding and grief.
And take me to yourselves from places that are ugly and in ruin,
and rob from those which are good even though in ugliness.
Out of shame, take me to yourselves shamelessly;
and out of shamelessness and shame,
upbraid my members in yourselves.
And come forward to me, you who know me
and you who know my members,
and establish the great ones among the small first creatures.
Come forward to childhood,
and do not despise it because it is small and it is little.
And do not turn away greatnesses in some parts from the smallnesses,
for the smallnesses are known from the greatnesses.
Why do you curse me and honor me?
You have wounded and you have had mercy.
Do not separate me from the first ones whom you have known.
And do not cast anyone out nor turn anyone away
[...] turn you away and [... know] him not.
[...].
What is mine [...].
I know the first ones and those after them know me.
But I am the mind of [...] and the rest of [...].
I am the knowledge of my inquiry,
and the finding of those who seek after me,
and the command of those who ask of me,
and the power of the powers in my knowledge
of the angels, who have been sent at my word,
and of gods in their seasons by my counsel,
and of spirits of every man who exists with me,
and of women who dwell within me.
I am the one who is honored, and who is praised,
and who is despised scornfully.
I am peace,
and war has come because of me.
And I am an alien and a citizen.
[...]

Σφιγξ said...

I am the substance and the one who has no substance.
Those who are without association with me are ignorant of me,
and those who are in my substance are the ones who know me.
Those who are close to me have been ignorant of me,
and those who are far away from me are the ones who have known me.
On the day when I am close to you, you are far away from me,
and on the day when I am far away from you, I am close to you.
[I am ...] within.
[I am ...] of the natures.
I am [...] of the creation of the spirits.
[...] request of the souls.
I am control and the uncontrollable.
I am the union and the dissolution.
I am the abiding and I am the dissolution.
I am the one below,
and they come up to me.
I am the judgment and the acquittal.
I, I am sinless,
and the root of sin derives from me.
I am lust in (outward) appearance,
and interior self-control exists within me.
I am the hearing which is attainable to everyone
and the speech which cannot be grasped.
I am a mute who does not speak,
and great is my multitude of words.
Hear me in gentleness, and learn of me in roughness.
I am she who cries out,
and I am cast forth upon the face of the earth.
I prepare the bread and my mind within.
I am the knowledge of my name.
I am the one who cries out,
and I listen.
I appear and [...] walk in [...] seal of my [...].
I am [...] the defense [...].
I am the one who is called Truth
and iniquity [...].
You honor me [...] and you whisper against me.
You who are vanquished, judge them (who vanquish you)
before they give judgment against you,
because the judge and partiality exist in you.
[...]
If you are condemned by this one, who will acquit you?
Or, if you are acquitted by him, who will be able to detain you?
For what is inside of you is what is outside of you,
and the one who fashions you on the outside
is the one who shaped the inside of you.
And what you see outside of you, you see inside of you;
it is visible and it is your garment.
Hear me, you hearers
and learn of my words, you who know me.
I am the hearing that is attainable to everything;
I am the speech that cannot be grasped.
I am the name of the sound
and the sound of the name.
I am the sign of the letter
and the designation of the division.
[...]

Σφιγξ said...

And I [...].
(3 lines missing)
[...] light [...].
[...] hearers [...] to you
[...] the great power.
And [...] will not move the name.
[...] to the one who created me.
And I will speak his name.
Look then at his words
and all the writings which have been completed.
Give heed then, you hearers
and you also, the angels and those who have been sent,
and you spirits who have arisen from the dead.
For I am the one who alone exists,
and I have no one who will judge me.
For many are the pleasant forms which exist in numerous sins,
and incontinencies,
and disgraceful passions,
and fleeting pleasures,
which (men) embrace until they become sober
and go up to their resting place.
And they will find me there,
and they will live,
and they will not die again.

This is the inspiration for Nurse with Wound's 1992 titled album (I like it because of the name, and the answering machine conceit in "Colder Still") and Current 93's Thunder Perfect Mind (1990) re-release this year with Louis Wain's cat on the cover. I do not think it is important if the artists believe in Gnosticism, Crowley's Current 93, Kalki, etc...It is esoterica and apocalyptica (it has not happened yet?) that is pleasing to research. Current 93 memorialized Anna Kavan's Sleep Has His House with its millenium album.

https://www.medpagetoday.com/clinical-connection/cardio-oncology/7666

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVGQ5zokDDE

An actress in need of direction, a leader at the mercy of his/her subordinates, Montaigne's earthly seat on top of excrement, the peristaltic pump that evolves into the heart...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om0xmuFbAF4

Σφιγξ said...

I need to finish this. Thank you, for reminding me of this inscription and this book at my bedside.

https://books.google.com/books?id=fTlIDwAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&dq=Sandeep+Jauhar+The+Heart&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi98IvQrL_pAhUsknIEHcwVCPkQ6AEIJjAA#v=onepage&q=Sandeep%20Jauhar%20The%20Heart&f=false

Σφιγξ said...

https://www.google.com/books/edition/Heart_A_History/fTlIDwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=The+Heart+Jauhar+%22aortic+dissection%22&pg=PT55&printsec=frontcover

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27770122/


https://www.upress.virginia.edu/title/3840

For the season of eclipses in 2020, sometime.

"In science the cleavability, technically known as 'maximum cleavage strength,' is conventionally measured in Newtons (a unit of force) per millimetre and tested for in radial and tangential directions, in both green and dry states. Low cleavability (or high resistance to splitting) is important in certain uses of wood today, because it indicates the ability of a particular species to hold nails and screws. Different species cleave in different ways. Both density and elasticity (properties of wood considered in following chapters) have some influence on cleavability, but the form of the grain has a more pronounced effect. Species like elm, yew, holly and sycamore have interlocking grain, often the result of repeated cycles of spiral growth in the tree, and they are highly resistant to splitting. Ash, on the other hand, cleaves or splits very well. The main reason for this is that the grain in ash is commonly, and notably, straight: that is, the direction of the grain is parallel or virtually parallel to the direction the tree grows."

Robert Penn's The Man Who Made Things Out of Trees (2015)

Σφιγξ said...

I liked The Heart: A History by Sandeep Jauhar (2019).

I agree that advanced directives are peremptory shorthand, and they are cruel - every shift bemoans performing the smallest service for the formerly-abled patient. The family stakes out the hospital bed in a futile effort, and the circumstances transpire into a decision that the family and the patient can accept. It is a not a decision made by outside "stakeholders" poised to level the stake.

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/23/opinion/alzheimers-dementia-advance-directives.html



"Though courts may disagree, I no longer believe that advance directives should strictly be followed in every situation. They are often vaguely worded and may poorly predict future attitudes and feelings. To me, it seems that a contemporaneous desire to live, even in a person with dementia, must be taken seriously, despite what that person might have previously written. We recognize that minds evolve and people change in every sphere of human life."

Σφιγξ said...

To be read:


https://www.google.com/books/edition/State_of_the_Heart/jo1xDwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=State%20of%20the%20Heart%20Haider%20Warraich&pg=PP1&printsec=frontcover

https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Exquisite_Machine/QKzIEAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=The%20Exquisite%20Machine%3A%20The%20New%20Science%20of%20the%20Heart%20Harding&pg=PP1&printsec=frontcover

Σφιγξ said...

I remember from reading his book - he was profoundly humbled when he received his coronary artery calcium (CAC) score. It was devastating to be an interventional cardiologist, and face an elevated CAC score. I have never forgotten this prologue:

https://www.google.com/books/edition/Heart_A_History/fTlIDwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=Heart%3A%20A%20History%20Jauhar%20coronary%20artery%20calcium%22&pg=PT6&printsec=frontcover

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5487233/

Σφιγξ said...

Gnosticism's temptations of initiated meanings fall apart with Judaism. Even though there are levels of interpretation of the Written and Oral Law, there is internal consistency, at the surface level to the foundation. Gematria is an example of this.

Σφιγξ said...

I will read the aforementioned heart books after I test June 4th. I cannot go about learning the largely quantitative inputs for a multiple choice exam as a humanist. I will read them, for sure. I see surgical interventions all the time, so the part to study will be the kinds of drugs and titration to response.

For instance, Intropin / dopamine at high rates can vasoconstrict the microvessels in the fingers and toes leading to necrosis. I have taken care of many patients prolonged on dopamine drips with black mummy appendages that demarcate for amputation.

"Low infusion rates (0.5 to 2 micrograms/kg per minute) act on the visceral vasculature to produce vasodilation, including the kidneys, resulting in increased urinary flow. Intermediate infusion rates (from 2 to 10 micrograms/kg/min) stimulate myocardial contractility and increase electrical conductivity in the heart leading to increased cardiac output. Higher doses cause vasoconstriction and increased blood pressure via the adrenergic receptors alpha-1, beta-1, and beta-2, potentially leading to poor peripheral circulation."

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK535451/#:~:text=Dopamine%20is%20a%20peripheral%20vasostimulant,resulting%20in%20increased%20urinary%20flow.

https://www.researchgate.net/figure/Dopamine-induced-ischemia-Dopamine-induced-ischemia-on-A-hand-and-B-foot_fig4_230633329