Jan Hopkins, "Amphitrite"_____________-1-________________________
She is a battering embryo, heldfast naked as if embedded in mucilage,
Harboring all tide-thrust fins and limbs insulated in a foam,
To a body that won't take to the waves, rather insulated in keeping a clean
House free from her accompanying flotsam. Amphitrite's clenched
Temples--in a crown of cancer--her hands, pincers enraged of being tied
Suggest the worst. Her wants winnow away in the regularly-flushed depths.
Clenching Amphitrite, clouds with her alkaline love, amounting to a skeleton
Inside. The soft creatures blanching in her wake, swallowed and hollowed
In her sea-churned eyes, where your wants winnow away in the depths.
Wrapped in the sheets, she swims between your legs. Long after her escape.
____________________-2-___________________________________
Such are her corrosive sprays at your offering, to spend a life swallowed, hollowed
As she swims between your legs. In a missing page of the wedding night
Recall how things cooled off as she tried to gore you with your trident. In escape
You at once thought urchins were knitted into the salt-braid of her hair.
As she swims between your legs in a ruined map of your wedding night
Her tears stain the coral bed and bloom into life for the spring moon
To seed. Beyond sham giveaways. Concoct searches for the salt-braid of her hair
Her strong currents and convictions unyoked these shared images of the vase.
Her previously overlooked strain of sex glistens, conferencing with the moon.
Nestling in stinging cells--love the hippokampoi carried off. Ever obsolete, the vase.
She surfaces at night to float on her back, and riding out the storm waves she creates,
In the surrounding third quarter, and what remains in the erotics of waiting
Nestling in stinging cells, vestiges of the nymphs she loved and lost to ensure
Her pinched expression on the vase, with him. Her livid face has a terrifically illicit
Sheen reflecting back the waste of the moon. Riding out the storm waves she creates
Needful of the claim, her body netting all in the acrobatic twists of one vast loneliness.
19 comments:
Facing the depths ***
Valid during many months: This is one of the most unpleasant influences of all, requiring a strong and courageous willingness to change in order to gain any personal benefit from experiences which might, at first, seem senseless and painful. You will repeatedly feel uneasy in unexpected situations in which you felt you had already overcome any problems. This will affect many areas of your life, but particularly the relationship with your partner. If you don't happen to be in a stable relationship at this time then your close friendships will be affected. This influence will also strongly influence your relationships with father-figures, superiors and any other kinds of authority - whether spiritual, religious or ideological.
Any form of therapy will now make you aware of your vulnerabilities. Confronting the darker side of the psyche can be a devastating experience that can uncover abysses within us which we never knew existed. Despite everything, try resisting the temptation to withdraw in order to avoid such experiences. This is not the time to be proud or strong. Pause to reflect, and try talking things over with someone - you will be amazed at the amount of sympathy and understanding you encounter. Accept any offers of help - you may discover that this is not so unpleasant after all. Your current experiences will make you aware of the fallibility of human nature, thus helping you to be more tolerant with yourself.
The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today:
Chiron Square Saturn, ,
activity period from 14 February 2009 until beginning of January 2010
http://books.google.com/books?id=goMc-9Al1lsC&pg=PA264&dq=Saint-John+Perse+%22Portes+ouvertes+sur+les+sables,+portes+ouvertes+sur+l%27exil%22&hl=en&sa=X&ei=7G8RU4zpI8mwyQHWhIDABQ&ved=0CGIQ6AEwBw#v=onepage&q=Saint-John%20Perse%20%22Portes%20ouvertes%20sur%20les%20sables%2C%20portes%20ouvertes%20sur%20l%27exil%22&f=false
Thank you, for helping me realize these things, among them the need to be provoked by others, who are possibly expressing the lives through the work of which I have only the darkest impressions. My impatience and furious resistance from feeling fawning ...from a place of wanting attention at the expense of my own expression.
When Giovanni Benedetto Castiglione went to Rome (1632), he was fighting the suggestion that he wanted patronage like Poussin, but in the established artist's work he found his own. There. And there...
So there are a few that show this literate, raw emotion to me (Marianne) and this deep preoccupation with futurity (Jorie); both are Pisces moons, but that I would want
to sift away their lives for a foretaste of an audience is completely foreign. When I am distrustful of others, I am making space in myself to keep working toward my expression.
Castiglione (the un-courtier, as he is known to me) needed Poussin:
http://www.canesso.com/Giovanni-Benedetto-Castiglione-dit-Grechetto-Genoa-1609-Mantua-1664-Jacob%E2%80%99s-Journey-DesktopDefault.aspx?tabid=6&tabindex=5&objectid=595246&categoryid=14156
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Le_Triomphe_de_Neptune_-_Nicolas_Poussin_-_Philadelphia_Museum_of_Art#mediaviewer/File:Nicolas_Poussin_025.jpg
https://artsy.net/artwork/nicolas-poussin-study-for-the-triumph-of-neptune-and-amphitrite
Water horses:
http://anne.piola.free.fr/pageHTML/ANNEPIOLA/art-fabuleux/cv-marins.html
http://harvardmagazine.com/2001/01/image-and-the-arc-of-fee.html
Your silence.
From Astrodienst:
Saturn conjunction Uranus: Fundamental changes
Mid-January 2016 until beginning of November 2016: This is an extremely powerful influence, for it represents powerful internal forces for change colliding with powerful resistance from the external world. You are trying to escape the routine, dull and ordinary aspects of your life. You try to find new things that will make your life more exciting and stimulating. But with every effort of this kind, circumstances, duties and obligations seem to hold you back and keep you stuck in an oppressive situation.
You may get to a point where the pressure is unbearable, and then you will make a sudden break for freedom. You may suddenly leave a relationship, an oppressive job or your place of residence, without warning anyone.
On the other hand, it may be possible to create a balance that enables you to sustain a great deal of tension over a long period of time and accomplish a great many changes in a highly structured way. Tasks of considerable difficulty are often accomplished under this influence, and people make Herculean efforts that would otherwise be impossible for them. Serious study and long-range projects requiring great concentration and effort can be undertaken.
Even though this may seem more productive, it really depends upon your situation. Very often a sudden break with what feels like an oppressive situation will clear the air and allow you to make a new and better beginning. On the other hand, it can cost you more than you are willing to pay. But the patient, hard-working manifestation of this energy may create severe mental and physical tensions, even to the point of physical illness. You have to decide what you can handle realistically and determine for yourself the proper course of action. At this time in your life you must make changes at the most fundamental levels. If you do not, in approximately fourteen years the consequences of not making these changes will become very obvious, and you will be confronted with the same issues again under more difficult circumstances.
Neptune trine Moon: A poetic cast
End of April 2016 until end of February 2018: The main effect of this influence is to increase your sensitivity to everything that happens around you, especially to the feelings and moods of others, and even their thoughts to some extent. This is a strongly intuitive influence. The "feelings" you get about a situation will be remarkably accurate. At the same time you will be eager for experiences in which you can go past surface appearances right to the very heart of the matter. And your increased sensitivity makes it easy to do this.
This influence especially arouses your compassion for other people's condition. You feel so exquisitely and empathize so completely with people's problems that you want very much to get involved in their lives and help them. This is a good thing to do, but first make sure that they really want to be helped. This influence makes you aware of the intrinsic oneness of all beings, an awareness you will want to demonstrate in your own life. It also arouses a kind of idealized mother function within you, regardless of your sex, so that you want to protect and nurture those in need. Again, be sure that they want to be nurtured. And don't get so carried away with your idealistic feelings that you cannot relate to the actual conditions you will have to deal with in helping others. If that happens you will accomplish little.
It is possible that this influence will bring you a very idealized and spiritualized love relationship, even to the point that the two of you will not have a physical relationship. You may prefer to remain platonic because it seems more pure and ideal. And although you are idealizing, in the long run a relationship such as this is likely to be very helpful in your development.
Under any circumstances this influence will greatly stimulate your imagination and give it a much more poetic cast. If you have any latent psychic ability, this influence will bring it out. You are also likely to be much more interested in the occult, psychic studies and spiritualism.
https://books.google.com/books?id=KPZ1CQAAQBAJ&lpg=PT194&dq=The%20Cabaret%20of%20Plants%20%22Aldous%20Huxley%22&pg=PT194#v=onepage&q=The%20Cabaret%20of%20Plants%20%22Aldous%20Huxley%22&f=false
https://books.google.com/books?id=tukmDMYu6ysC&lpg=PA300&dq=Aldous%20Huxley%20%22The%20Olive%20Tree%22&pg=PA300#v=onepage&q=Aldous%20Huxley%20%22The%20Olive%20Tree%22&f=false
I regret writing the above; firstly, for the hubris.
"In the library, the order found the minds of Fedina and his men prey to conflicting sentiments: on one hand they were constantly discovering new interests to satisfy and were enjoying their reading and their studies more than they would ever have imagined; on the other hand, they could not wait to get back into the world again, to take up life again, a world and a life that seemed so much more complex now, as though renewed before their very eyes; and on the other hand, the fact that the day was fast approaching when they would have to leave the library filled them with apprehension, for they would have to give an account of their mission, and with all the ideas that were bubbling up in their heads they had no idea how to get out of what had become a very tight corner indeed."
Tim Park's translation of Italo Calvino's "A General in the Library" 30 October 1953
https://schabrieres.wordpress.com/2016/04/19/florence-noel-un-tel-desir-daujourdhui/
http://phenomena.nationalgeographic.com/2016/03/09/the-earth-has-lungs-watch-them-breathe/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Social&utm_content=link_fb20160422ph-earthlungs&utm_campaign=Content&sf24790914=1
"But in some areas, quiet areas that you forget about as soon as you’ve travelled through them, you too are a deeply imperfect and questionable individual. Gently, you have – in your own way – betrayed. Nicely, you have been a coward. Modestly, you have forgotten your privileges. Unthinkingly, you have added salt to the wounds of others. We don’t need to know anything about you to know this as a certainty. We must forgive because – not right now, not over this, but one day, over something – we need to be forgiven."
https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/how-to-forgive/?fbclid=IwAR3CD9Naggv3lZHKel7WoabF1YFhNqHKvW8SsbOUO-LGulwO75GeX8zQWEc
https://www.indiewire.com/2020/01/mrs-america-trailer-cate-blanchett-rose-byrne-hulu-1202201897/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ela4f_qPTm4
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0003122414528936
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C57mK0GXCas
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2ca6qNF5yE
A corollary to this most recent discussion is not that I do not disagree that women should plan to have sequential families and careers, but I am not alone among my cohort with debt.
While I did not ruin my body with whoring or substance abuse, I am less desirable as a marriage partner because I have to work to pay for the costs of my education, due to myself and due to factors outside of my control. I do not even know how to start that discussion, so it is assumed that I am dispositionally opposed to such a life.
I have to work three days a week, effectively fitting a 40-50 hour workweek into this timespan, to keep my nominal insurance and bring in a living that satisfies very few of my consumer wishes. I do not want to even try to explain the obvious anymore.
I have a spiritual, idealized relation to you. It is beautiful, fulfilling, but it has so far not been able to get off the ground. Any realistic expectations hurt our feelings, and there is a sense of betrayal if I want to what everyone else desires.
https://books.google.com/books/about/Thinking_Inside_the_Box.html?id=ZGOeDwAAQBAJ
I am reminded of the very plausible situation described by Clark of having two separate families on Earth and Mars, for example, with no desire to compete or probe the superficial details about each other given distances, even if they are maximized with technology.
This is how I imagine the car ride distance from a zip code, which might as well be space. I will revisit the KBO and Pluto-like satellite of Triton, sometime.
https://youtu.be/9JTkaXfPr0U
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/blogs/ruminations/rendezvous-with-rama-india-can-comfortably-straddle-the-crossroads-of-science-and-religion/
I am not planning a break with circumstances in the hope that it will be the ideal. I can transit between two houses here, which is better than most renters in my cohort. The student loan pause has benefitted me, while it has made me realize that paying nearly half of my income for the sense of duty and the urgency of expediting a debt is an empty goal. I will revert to income-based repayments, and let the situation resolve in the background.
Even though Keith is a fixture in one part of the house, he brings the advantage of a property tax exemption for being disabled. Why I had not thought of this? He feeds and takes care of the cats. He has no plans to live with the mother, who keeps his daughter from him. When she is old enough to insist, she can visit.
Sharon wants to work until she drops in her profession, particularly after she saw her SS statement in the mail. It was just a gauge, but no amount would satisfy her spending in order to earn it back again. She went to the gym with me after one month's hiatus. Serovital is on auto-renewal.
After I spent a night in the upper layout of this house, I see where it is entirely possible to remake Siena's room, when she grows into a young adult, into a room for another child. There is a separate bathroom. Siena can babysit.
You, of course, are welcome to stay and keep your house, which you can go back to as you wish.
This is a better compromise.
I am ready to let go of the Stephenson house, and I have no expectations for a relationship with Keith's children. It is not the situation I had planned. In many ways, it is not my fault.
Things change. They are as much as a support for me as I am for them.
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