Diaz Kleefstra
"Seventeen is an unlucky number in Sicily; travelers cancel airline reservations on the seventeenth of any month, and high-rises here have no seventeenth floor. When the tonnaroti measure a net with a meter stick, they count aloud: 'sixteen, sixteen-and-one, eighteen.' Not surprisingly, Saint Patrick's Day, March 17, passes without a parade. But Saint Joseph, whose feast is two days later, is adored throughout Sicily.
Saint Joseph is a blue-collar saint very popular on the island; he is the protector of carpenters and orphans. His feast coincides with the vernal equinox and is celebrated in disparate, sometimes pagan ways. Residents of Palermo light three-story bonfires in the streets and burn old furniture. On the island of Marettimo fireworks are set off, in Campobello di Mazara altars of bread are made, and in Siracusa the oldest boat is burned. Saint Joseph walks through the town of Salemi knocking on doors looking for food for his family and a place to stay and is turned away three times. It is a ritual in which the whole town participates. Each person knows his lines" (85-6).
99 comments:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/evolution/library/03/5/l_035_01.html
http://bloompapers.com/us/wallpapers-bloom-design/nature/frost.html
Arethusa on Ice in Syracuse.
I was just thinking of Taras; later, Taranto fromTarentum, a Spartan colony founded by bastards, or the unlisted children of Partheniai, reputedly virgin women. The oracle predicted where they would land, and they struck coins with the founder riding a dolphin.
http://books.google.com/books?id=q-9tGsz78KMC&pg=PA68&dq=Spartan+Taras+%22The+Partheniai+are+marked+as+illegitimate+and+associated+with+their+mothers.%22&hl=en&sa=X&ei=6JvjUbi5PMqliQLO_YCQBQ&ved=0CC8Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=Spartan%20Taras%20%22The%20Partheniai%20are%20marked%20as%20illegitimate%20and%20associated%20with%20their%20mothers.%22&f=false
The son of Gaia and Leonidas of Sparta, Taras:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e1/Taranto_Coinage.jpg
I figured I should file under Magna Graecia.
Of course, I have a soft spot for strays, but I have to remind myself that my storminess at home is replaying my experience. I realized this after fighting with my brother, and she gravitated to my room later that night. I woke up in a small flood. Regression in toilet training is common in stressful homes.
For me, this year will be an accelerated growth experience, and I do not normally operate swelling with indignation for various things, gender-anger, and the like. Most of the time, I want to feel equanimity alongside the diversity of people and their preferences.
I just cannot read anything now without interrogating the assumptions that have founded my life, most lives.
The next exercise:
http://books.google.com/books?id=0ekMgWOMQJ8C&pg=PA37&dq=frog+skin+cutaneous+respiration&hl=en&sa=X&ei=BZEvU9PgJ4TYqQGRooFI&ved=0CFsQ6AEwCQ#v=onepage&q=frog%20skin%20cutaneous%20respiration&f=false
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3DfyJRIT4jySmJpNjBjOFlnSUE/edit?usp=sharing
http://books.google.com/books?id=64dT9icMz6AC&pg=PA25&dq=Byatt+A+Whistling+Woman+a+certain+blindly-working+greed+for+knowledge+in+Jacqueline+required+it.&hl=en&sa=X&ei=gUU2U4m5HIr7qAGxh4DYCg&ved=0CC0Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=Byatt%20A%20Whistling%20Woman%20a%20certain%20blindly-working%20greed%20for%20knowledge%20in%20Jacqueline%20required%20it.&f=false
I erased it, earlier, because I do not want to record anything else self-deprecating as is my wont on a Pisces moon transit through my 4th house, a cathected zone, where one is (ahem) less than practical.
http://books.google.com/books?id=64dT9icMz6AC&pg=PA190&dq=Byatt+A+Whistling+Woman+would+have+had+their+genes,+which+would+have+been+combined+with+those+of+Jacqueline%27s+pleasant+parents+to+make+someone+quite+new.&hl=en&sa=X&ei=XWysU4HVEYyoyASy2YDwBw&ved=0CB4Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=Byatt%20A%20Whistling%20Woman%20would%20have%20had%20their%20genes%2C%20which%20would%20have%20been%20combined%20with%20those%20of%20Jacqueline%27s%20pleasant%20parents%20to%20make%20someone%20quite%20new.&f=false
Beyond cathexis, love is what one does for the other person.
On my walk, I saw a region of disturbed earth with purple thistles and pairs of yellow goldfinches, at least two. Lovely. I am not deferring the task, but I want to post Exercise 15 in entirety before I resume, to prevent false leads of completion.
"Yes indeed, love for us will not be on the daytime desert: we are those who swim, the night air is humid and is sweetened, and we are salty since our breathing out is sweat. A long time ago I was drawn, along with you, on a cave wall, and with you I have swum from its dark depths down to today, I have swum with my countless cilia--I was the oil today that just gushed forth, when an African drew me in my own house, making me come forth from a wall. Sleepwalking, like the oil that finally gushes forth."
Clarice Lispector's The Passion According to G.H. (1963)
Pisces in the nadir, which is about surrender, everyone's, for it disappears behind the Ecliptic for the start of another astrological cycle. One should make love at least every Pisces transit, even it is a matter of marking the practical calendar.
After I finished this morning, Clarice Lispector's A Breath of Life landed in the postbox. Usually when I buy it used, it takes a month.
http://www.carlomoretti.com/0800.php
Later, perhaps. I will work it into the narrative, future lot no. 366323.
http://books.google.com/books?id=64dT9icMz6AC&lpg=PA39&dq=A%20Whistling%20Woman%20%22Frederica%20sat%20at%20the%20back%2C%20in%20a%20non-authoritarian%20position.%22&pg=PA39#v=onepage&q=A%20Whistling%20Woman%20%22Frederica%20sat%20at%20the%20back,%20in%20a%20non-authoritarian%20position.%22&f=false
http://books.google.com/books?id=64dT9icMz6AC&lpg=PA72&dq=A%20Whistling%20Woman%20%22She%20was%20having%20trouble%20with%20the%20dense%20layers%20of%20connective%20tissue%20around%20the%20cells%2C%20which%20were%20hard%20to%20soften%20with%20enzymes%2C%20and%20hard%20to%20dissect%20by%20hand.%22&pg=PA72#v=onepage&q=A%20Whistling%20Woman%20%22She%20was%20having%20trouble%20with%20the%20dense%20layers%20of%20connective%20tissue%20around%20the%20cells,%20which%20were%20hard%20to%20soften%20with%20enzymes,%20and%20hard%20to%20dissect%20by%20hand.%22&f=false
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/2/
"There are two ways to think about kindness. You can think about it as a fixed trait: either you have it or you don’t. Or you could think of kindness as a muscle. In some people, that muscle is naturally stronger than in others, but it can grow stronger in everyone with exercise. Masters tend to think about kindness as a muscle. They know that they have to exercise it to keep it in shape. They know, in other words, that a good relationship requires sustained hard work."
Something like this:
http://www.moleskine.com/en/collections/model/product/japanese-album-large
I did not want to say, not because I do not want to send it. There is the attempt to observe some boundaries, although I fail at that regularly.
Yes, in spite of submitting evidence to the contrary, I still want that. When decided, it was not a difficult choice; you make it quite easy. It is not correct to say that the distance and the chaos of others entangle and repel that initial intention, when life has a way of compounding the difficulty of just about any circumstance.
Having a common purpose is a strong predictor of relationship longevity.
I was afraid to continue with the mindset of the summer months; although, if the intention had been completed, October is the best time, for your schedule, when it seemed like it was imposing on you. Would you later feel disconnected, as my pseudo-parent?
Foremost in my mind is that I would always want you to know that it is not simply for that reason. I really do love you above and beyond your perceptive mind and gracefulness. It was not to imitate or exploit you that I held you in mind all these years, when your eyes said yes.
I am wretched trying to convince myself otherwise.
Tarot de Marseille Pierre Madenié
http://alchemicaltarot.com/
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3085996/
http://sma.sciarc.edu/video/charles-jencks-the-language-of-modern-architecture/
http://www.charlesjencks.com/#!the-garden-of-cosmic-speculation/photostackergallery4=9
http://www.giardinodeitarocchi.it/
http://icplibrary.wordpress.com/2011/08/12/children%E2%80%99s-books-worth-treasuring/
Bad faith in a reassuring zodiacal myth? One chooses to negotiate a multiplicity of identities; this one, as tonight's example, I have chosen not because I want to regress into childisness. It takes a lifetime of sifting serious things to appreciate innocence; I could not do this earlier in life.
I think of "the true roughness--halo distended / glittering with exaggeration -- / dazzling the still philosophies--", from Jorie Graham's "Willow in Spring Wind: A Showing".
http://www.google.com/search?q=holiday+for+edith+and+the+bears&client=ms-android-samsung&site=webhp&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=Va-PVN7pEs7ZoASL64HAAg&ved=0CAsQ_AUoAA&biw=320&bih=508#facrc=_&imgrc=ALPIO0iAzVpMUM%253A%3BjDY0xL2Y-Lv80M%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fecx.images-amazon.com%252Fimages%252FI%252F51uP6vGSK2L._SY344_BO1%252C204%252C203%252C200_.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.amazon.com%252FHoliday-Edith-Bears-Dare-Wright%252Fdp%252FB0007E1NZU%3B256%3B346
*childishness
*for the lack of an em dash, disenjoined --
Are you referring to the Pisces moon transit, Christmas day?
http://www.laboiteverte.fr/comment-construire-un-humain/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZK4LjURtaDw&app=desktop
https://books.google.com/books?id=V7hizGjcYAsC&pg=PA64&dq=celtic+oak+tree+month&hl=en&sa=X&ei=xyybVLCWMI3moAScgoFY&ved=0CFEQ6AEwCQ
Anticipated, in July; it does not signify anyone else. I had to prepare for a gathering, and I just finished cleaning. If I suggested negative things, like Sonya, the girl in Shishkin's novel with the acorn, I was thinking of recuperation, and thay she might flourish. I will amend it soon.
*that
http://www.nybooks.com/blogs/gallery/2014/dec/23/lilliput-under-sea/?insrc=hpss
If I could practice more kindness, by doing things for you...
Exercise 38.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3DfyJRIT4jyTzBxcU8wX1plc1k/view?usp=sharing
http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2015-04/20/glass-frog-discovered-organs-translucent
http://voices.nationalgeographic.com/2013/08/15/whats-this-mysterious-circle-on-the-seafloor/
I cannot get any further until I change my entrenched feelings about things,from Abydos. Exercise 44.
http://ascendingpassage.com/Osirion-at-Abydos.htm
http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/geometria_sagrada/esp_geometria_sagrada_6.htm
http://panhistoria.com/www/AncientEgyptianVirtualTemple/calendar1.html
So why are so many drawn to places in the world, which have been, and in many cases, are, epicenters of war-torn refinement? This means the people congregated there have practiced the way of seeing the off-cuts, the singular trade, the sunlit spot, or the season varietal, to the path of connoisseurship. It is not really the discontent with a geographical location, or being separated. There is nothing more exhilarating than spinning an uncommon thing between the wind drafts of a shared oculus. Being apart, or sharing a bench, is just an alternation of focal length.
When I consider what was easy to envision before, the very thought of two people like ourselves, being fully capable at this point in life; no matter how much we know it can be amended to its perfected form, to see ourselves living and loving with other people who agreed to experience this life with us, [long sentence] nothing else will do. When I reach for something less ambitious, with a preoccupation for polite distance, trivia, or, attention to negative indicators, I cannot recognize myself. It is really a thing we have done that I cannot imagine myself as this other person; and when attempting this, I do not feel as competent doing easy things, where I felt almost psychotically audacious. Retrieving more of the things I have to say in the familiar constructs means that I end, with the gratitude that this period has made me realize that the only way I can proceed, feeling security and relief, is within this symbiosis.
End this message.
I love you.
https://onedrive.live.com/redir?resid=F55F42B98D0538C0!836&authkey=!AKZgFyOX_yoK32g&ithint=file%2cpdf
http://1drv.ms/1d5IXaq
After driving up a promontory, we dropped off the opossum with the broken jaw for treatment. We were invited back to feed baby birds in the spring.
I then took the opportunity to take my brother; his receptive moments are rare, to the VA to update his information, sign-in to the TBI clinic, and obtain a flu shot. They generated his combat record, and several near-fatalities with NATO as a machine gunner, so the aim of having his complex health care was granted today, which is a relief. His problems are varied, and rather than depressing him with the potential status as an invalid, I wanted him to think about his future with a melted eardrum and advancing pinhole blindness, and too, to expedite his educational benefits instead of this piecemeal strategy that is not working.
Also, we descended into the retro canteen for a yogurt, and his biological father (an internist and John the III) locked eyes.
We wheeled Calvin (my 98-year-old maternal grandfather) around the perimeter to see the autumnal color.
It was a Turquoise day, in a sense. I was tormented today that I could not be at my desk, and that I have to legitimately set aside this evening to study for Friday morning, but I am going to fulfill the Embasz-inspired installation with inscriptions from Neskhons and Ramesses IX's cartonnage, and the Adam Bede reading.
https://books.google.com/books?id=ALdw8usBv3QC&lpg=PA106&dq=%22For%20the%20Egyptians%20the%20blues%20of%20turquoise%20and%20lapis%20lazuli%20were%20the%20colors%20of%20faith%20and%20truth.%22&pg=PA107#v=onepage&q=%22For%20the%20Egyptians%20the%20blues%20of%20turquoise%20and%20lapis%20lazuli%20were%20the%20colors%20of%20faith%20and%20truth.%22&f=false
Opposite, for the Sabian 27th degree of the North Node, in Taurus.
https://books.google.com/books?id=FGPuBgAAQBAJ&lpg=PT71&dq=doris%20lessing%20%22turquoise%22&pg=PT71#v=onepage&q=doris%20lessing%20%22turquoise%22&f=false
I missed December 3, a Turquoise day, by my calendar. The result October the 22nd's endeavors lacked the lighter hues.
The current Card's preoccupation is with a monkey named Jacopo from The Price of Salt, which I have assumed to be Steiff.
Here is a later model:
http://www.steiff.com/en-gb/mungo-monkey-062360.html
Ellen Meloy's The Anthropology of Turquoise; first Vintage Books edition July 2003, is prefaced with a line from Sebald's The Rings of Saturn; and then, a random sifting of this book I have not read cover-to-cover (bought online used, for a song, with a dedication I just noticed, to Carol, ha) mentions a zanate, the Mexican grackle. If I recall, an urraca was mentioned, but the magpie is a corvid. Grackle has the Linnean genus, Gracula, which is a onomatopoeic misnomer for the sound an European jackdaw makes; however, the grackle is a blackbird, and closer kin to orioles.
Ecological niche = comportamiento natural (Do not eat the grey squirrel or Mexican grackle)
http://www.sedema.df.gob.mx/bosquedesanjuandearagon/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=70&Itemid=74
http://www.wired.com/2015/12/italys-etna-unleashes-a-short-but-spectacular-eruption/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rni41c9iq54
http://nikolai-astrup.no/en/artwork/spring-night-and-willow-goblin
http://www.bestofsicily.com/mag/art371.htm
http://www.louisianafolklife.org/LT/Articles_Essays/DeltaPollacia.html
https://books.google.com/books?id=TaQUVE10T0YC&lpg=PA70&dq=quid%20me%20mihi%20detrahis&pg=PA70#v=onepage&q=quid%20me%20mihi%20detrahis&f=false
"It is very painful. It is lovely. It is the moment of the birth of a new consciousness. Marsyas cried out to Apollo: quid me mihi detrahis. Why do you tear me from myself. And Dante prayed to be so torn. Apollo should deal with him 'si come quando Marsia traesti: Della vaginal dell member sue.' As when thought didst tear Marsyas from the sheath of his members. A metamorphosis, yet again. The Shining butterfly of the soul from the pupa of the body. La[r]va, pupa, imago. An image of art." -A.S. Byatt's A Virgin in the Garden (1978)
*vagina delle membre sue
Autocorrect, from an empty science room where "isobars" and "low pressure air spirals counterclockwise" reverberates across the wall partition.
When I am thrown in the content and composition of a smartphone addicted public school classroom, I am apprehensive about the future. I still love you, and I am trying to prove it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yXBFo46aRs
https://aeon.co/essays/how-bad-experiences-in-childhood-lead-to-adult-illness
Blooming now.
http://jpninfo.com/14048
Speaking in exaggerations, as is the wont, I do not take to the resemblance of the UCLA linguist and her subject, Genie, but I understand the fear of separation, which was initiated by the court.
http://www.nature.com/tp/journal/v6/n8/full/tp2016164a.html?WT.mc_id=FBK_TP_1609_MEDITATIONVACATIONEFFECTS_PORTFOLIO
Post flu vaccine and paperwork, I had a late afternoon rêverie of swimming with you. It was very surreal, with ears regulating to the deep end.
Class Friday. I am trying to finish American Pastoral this morning, today...Still reading. Hell is arguing with a thirteen-year-old boy for 102 minutes, who would not be disregarded like the rest, despite being sent out, sent back...Cornering me at my desk. Just when I calmly retorted that he might not be so cavalier, after receiving his report card (I just handed back), he said, "you know, I am Cancer?" His name meant messenger, malakh. I am still a bit exhausted from that exchange, and more so, that it appalls me that so many glibly function at such a low level of literacy. I plan to view Herzog and progress in this Exercise, this evening.
https://1drv.ms/i/s!AsA4BY25Ql_1jGrcbQSr697g-uuX
https://1drv.ms/i/s!AsA4BY25Ql_1jGklrpMTZa0p4pD3
http://www.delanceyplace.com/?utm_source=The+Long+Long+Life+of+Trees+94-96&utm_campaign=12%2F12%2F16&utm_medium=email
This book has beautiful prints !
http://modernpoetryintranslation.com/poem/from-la-part-du-vent/
After returning from the gym, and taking the route intersecting the hospital crosswalk, I almost ran into my father, who stepped out into traffic while talking on his phone. We were both wearing sunglasses.
I seem to understand what is being stated by these encounters, "I will talk to you, only then. Why else would I stay here?"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/?term=Herodotou%20DT%5BAuthor%5D&cauthor=true&cauthor_uid=8636437
https://youtu.be/b3ebIebpttk
https://books.google.com/books?id=GhpNc1YU6wsC&lpg=PT339&dq=Salt%20Kurlansky%20%22tonnara%22&pg=PT339#v=onepage&q=Salt%20Kurlansky%20%22tonnara%22&f=false
I will put Exercise 84 here. I have let a lot of time elapse, but I am trying to get back to routines once this course is over.
I love you. December 2012, it has been.
http://www.vol1brooklyn.com/2017/12/04/fictional-absences-and-incomplete-fictions-a-review-of-dandelions-by-yasunari-kawabata/
Yes, today is another turquoise day. I will try not to be too exhausted by the psych hospital where I am assigned.
Heart-related items for future thought:
Many of my patients will be post-Watchman left atrial appendage placement, an alternative to NOACs, which is under study in our facility.
http://heart.bmj.com/content/early/2018/03/21/heartjnl-2017-312819
https://books.google.com/books?id=N50lDwAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&dq=Éric+Hazan+A+Walk+Through+Paris+"hospital"&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwijkrC-8dPaAhWrmuAKHVzdCgQQ6AEIJTAA#v=onepage&q=Éric%20Hazan%20A%20Walk%20Through%20Paris%20"hospital"&f=false
Yes, Exercise 84 is overdue to be posted here.
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsA4BY25Ql_1jmU-siiAyOk4eXgx
http://the-iching.com/hexagram_33
Conscientious and agreeable.
https://youtu.be/ewvqEqIXdhU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpH-V6kkOwI
My thoughts before going to bed on 2019, to work the next morning, were that I wanted to turn to you, and thank you, for being the most important person in my life, for so long. It soothes me when I am intemperate.
It made me think of Rob Delaney, with his upcoming Amazon special named for his pet lizard, Jackie. I generally like his filterless, lower limbic humor, but the Catastrophe script was the best with his collaborator, Sharon Horgan and Carrie Fisher, who could pass, at times, for my mother. This is my favorite episode of the four seasons.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkmvWrb2vzQ
My mother has a wholesale on problems, though she makes a fat federal salary, and her children to supply the labor.
I will help her with her new house, but I do not want to live with her.
This year, our president approved a 3.5 percent raise to buy the loyalty of federal workers. Ha.
An example of over-involvement is that she stormed off to the other house. She phoned my brother during his required rehab counseling, and he answered it on speaker, to bring her phone charger, a pair of underwear and some black socks. The Navy veteran, who is Buddhist, clarified if it was his girlfriend. "No, it is my mother."
Even if I never spend a night under the roof of my mortgaged house, I want to improve the curb appeal and support the native wildlife. I like walking around there at night with the herds of deer pausing as I pass. I have my niece's room to paint. Even if I resent my black hole sibling, and do not bother to intercede on his hellbent trajectory to the gutter, I am thinking about that kid. It might be better if my mother keeps her over there, even if the parents are useless.
This is not a value judgment on marijuana smoking, but I will submit the evidence.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5542986/
With all these responsibilities, I do not have the luxury of flaking out, not working, taking an extended leave from work and school, so you do not have to imagine that is what you will be inheriting. When I pay off my pay-as-you-go degree in name only (, I will contemplate the next fiscally responsible step for my career and earning power. I have to be as pragmatic as possible where my varied interests are concerned.
http://www.folio-lesite.fr/searchinternet/advanced/(editor_id)/1/?subjects_id=610&SearchAction=1
I plan to live for the next eight decades, and then I will eventually have this straightened to my satisfaction. Can you imagine what you would be doing otherwise, if someone told you that you were going to be a centenarian? Having a sense of continuity between the generations is important as one ages. You will be counseled to adhere to norms, and I would say that it will probably remain the least interesting thing about you. I am happy not to share your light.
Yes, I do want to be married, even with a prenuptial way. I have found the ring I want to get you, but I do not know your ring size. I know, I want to give you a wedding and reception with an open bar as big as your sister's. Even if it is a few years later. I could see you taking mental notes.
I interpret the sustained interest here that we would like a lot of things, but we do not know how to ask for them. I should think that time is passing in any case.
Once I have made the transition to the VA, things will improve in the sense that I will have more financial security and options for advancement. Yes, the ideal situation cannot be found, but I would like to do the same amount of work I am doing for more benefits like federal insurance and the TSP.
I will put Exercise 88 here.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1oeByct7cyPGnmd4WZ-8NdLBWwc38VFdB/view?usp=sharing
Yes, I still think of that. Thank you for reminding me.
https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/art-and-design/visual-art/henri-matisse-a-jolt-of-happiness-from-a-humanist-painter-1.4392544?mode=amp
Yes, the details about having the stability, time and money to have the we life want will work out when I transfer. The next block of time that I am off, after Thanksgiving and around my birthday, I will submit applications.
Just when I have one foot out of the door, Yesterday, I am stopped by a professional up here to discharge an ED physician after a heart attack, who helped me find the imaging conveying hallmark Ogilvie's syndrome, for which neostigmine is the antidote with a crash cart on standby for precipitous bradycardia and sinus pause.
https://radiopaedia.org/articles/colonic-pseudo-obstruction-1?lang=us
Not that I would stay for personal reasons, but I do like the academic affiliation. I would remain flex here, which entitles working a few days a month, to stay in this dynamic learning environment, which the alternative is, for good and bad, not.
There are openings on the extended care floor where my grandfather resided, and I know the manager, and there is a position for ICU/PCU educator, for which I would need IABP, CRRT and controlled hypothermia training I would get working in the CCU adjacent to my unit. I have no interest being radiated in a lead apron for 12 hours a day in the cath lab. Still looking ... I am set to finish Exercise 88 by Monday.
https://books.google.com/books?id=CxRQDwAAQBAJ&pg=PT47&dq=error++reborn+through+an+urge+that+would+find+its+balance+in+an+imponderable+inevitability&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiF8oaJ0qXuAhVCpFkKHadJD8YQ6AEwAHoECAMQAg#v=onepage&q=error%20%20reborn%20through%20an%20urge%20that%20would%20find%20its%20balance%20in%20an%20imponderable%20inevitability&f=false
I knew that I would lack the energy Sunday to work on Exercise 89. While I would agree that symptoms are exaggerated in some, and not a reason to pare back activity, I get migraines and a start-stop situation. The fatigue is unconquerable during that time, and can only be forestalled so long.
I will put the Exercise here. Yes, the underwater ex-libris theme reverberates here.
"As the social structures that support the family have decayed, the debate about it has taken on a mythical quality. Social conservatives insist that we can bring the nuclear family back. But the conditions that made for stable nuclear families in the 1950s are never returning. Conservatives have nothing to say to the kid whose dad has split, whose mom has had three other kids with different dads; 'go live in a nuclear family' is really not relevant advice. If only a minority of households are traditional nuclear families, that means the majority are something else: single parents, never-married parents, blended families, grandparent-headed families, serial partnerships, and so on. Conservative ideas have not caught up with this reality.
Progressives, meanwhile, still talk like self-expressive individualists of the 1970s: People should have the freedom to pick whatever family form works for them. And, of course, they should. But many of the new family forms do not work well for most people—and while progressive elites say that all family structures are fine, their own behavior suggests that they believe otherwise. [...]
[...]
In other words, while social conservatives have a philosophy of family life they can’t operationalize, because it no longer is relevant, progressives have no philosophy of family life at all, because they don’t want to seem judgmental. The sexual revolution has come and gone, and it’s left us with no governing norms of family life, no guiding values, no articulated ideals. On this most central issue, our shared culture often has nothing relevant to say—and so for decades things have been falling apart."
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theatlantic.com/amp/article/605536/
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.ca/books/675649/kings-of-their-own-ocean-by-karen-pinchin/9781039000629
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7685404/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK549880/#:~:text=Hungry%20bone%20syndrome%20is%20a,avoid%20untoward%20morbidity%20for%20patients.
The Purple Hairstreak:
I leave it, but I have never practiced nor have I been tempted by the theater of the RCs. When I walking with my mother Monday, where we found the bur oak macrocarpels, I asked her about the seventeen children of a prominent Irish-Catholic family that used to live up the street. I worked under the senior and junior Roberts at my hospital, and I went to school with a daughter of the latter. Sharon went to school with Kathleen, who disparaged her upbringing. The divagation concerned large families, and how the most resources go to the older children, and this causes resentment.
Anyhow; Kathleen told my mother, in nursing school, the RCs were a scam, and that they required good soldiers in attendance and tithing, yet no one in the family after the eldest children even got a discount to the local RC high school, or college. She felt that her future potential was truncated by these facts. That is not relevant to my life.
The veneration of saints, Mary, and encased bits and pieces is idolatrous, while it is syncretized paganism. The circus tent of stained glass enthralls parishioners while concealing rot at its core. To be against this is unpopular, while most people like their decorative faith requiring no obligations.
I cannot accept that there is another agent on Earth interceding for one's personal relationship with the Divine. All the searching and cannibalizing theories cannot stand, so I do not disavow the past I have written here, as if it did not happen, but I plan to make a formal statement of my faith. After study, and contemplation, and the discipline required for it. It is emet, the truth. What follows in the 613 commandments is the truth, and confusion and running away, and seeking comforting answers cannot make it otherwise.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ertcPH4NmZo
https://mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt0513.htm
https://lithub.com/the-pole/
https://books.google.com/books/about/Last_Comes_the_Raven.html?id=pfcqEAAAQBAJ#v=onepage&q=Last%20Comes%20the%20Raven%20Calvino%20%22Ping-Pong%20table%22&f=false
https://youtu.be/B5FkRnf7-Js?si=lenpIGMU7eavGX7-
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-023-44605-6
"Norway is arguably one of the contemporary societies where it is easiest to obtain higher levels of education. From a less developed educational system, school reforms in the 1960s increased compulsory schooling for everyone in Norway12. Since 1994, everyone has a legal right to a place in a high school program irrespective of their past performance. The tertiary education system is relatively open and universal financial aid is provided by the government. The heritability of educational attainment has been found relatively high in Norway and similar countries1. Hence, this is a context where we would expect a strong correlation between cognitive ability and educational attainment to emerge, reflecting a shift towards meritocratic hierarchies following from the expansion of mass education.
The Norwegian data indicates the opposite of the expected pattern: educational attainment is over time becoming weaker as a signal of the cognitive abilities.
[...]
An alternative, potentially more plausible explanation for our findings, is the nature of the changing educational and labor market."
"If interest rates rise, it will become fiscally preferable to remain in a nursing position."
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28538427/
I have not concluded anything. The courses I have taken in the last year reduced my tax burden. This April, I will have been a nurse on my own, and responsible for a unit every day I work, for six years.
Tehillim 12, 46, and 112.
https://books.google.com/books?id=7sQqc-sXTeEC&pg=PA266&dq=jewish+are+like+fish+hidden&hl=en&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&source=gb_mobile_search&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjvktPJ9YKFAxWHCnkGHX1UC4UQ6AF6BAgNEAM#v=onepage&q=jewish%20are%20like%20fish%20hidden&f=false
https://books.google.com/books?id=hK72EAAAQBAJ&pg=PT324&dq=dagim+pisces+naphtali&hl=en&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&source=gb_mobile_search&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjik-m52Y2FAxVOGVkFHcV-DAEQ6AF6BAgHEAM#v=onepage&q=dagim%20pisces%20naphtali&f=false
https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Secrets_of_Hebrew_Words/aUPCk8a2YhwC?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=sod%2017%20gematria%20hebrew&pg=PR9&printsec=frontcover
This is not an argument for learned helplessness, but without getting out of the gate, one knows one isn't in the right gate. In the secular world, doing anything one can do to fill a few slots; regardless of whether one goes on to do anything, is all that matters. This is why I see the only future I have is in the ether, the nonphysical, then the Spiritual.
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41599-024-03547-8
https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Body_of_the_Soul/7VPbEAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=The%20Body%20of%20the%20Soul%20Ulitskaya%20%22Serpentine%22&pg=PA145&printsec=frontcover
« Où sont mes lunettes? » se demanda-t-elle. Mais elle comprit aussitôt que sa vue était parfaite, qu'elle voyait tout d'une autre façon qu'auparavant, comme si elle ne se trouvait pas dans le monde habitual à trois dimensions, mais à l'intérieur d'un autre espace. C'était une beauté grandiose dont elle avait soupçonné l'existence quand elle travaillait dans sa bibliothèque au service des acquisitions, mais elle n'avait pas imaginé ni espéré se retrouver là un jour, et elle se remplit de bonheur à ras bord, au point d'en perdre ses propres limites, car elle avait senti qu'elle était accueillie pour toujours, et que ce qu'elle avait le plus aimé en cette vie—étudier, apprendre des chooses nouvelles et, grâce à ces connaissances, s'élargir jusqu'aux limites de ce que pouvait contenir son espirit malade, surmené et épuisé par le travail — tout cela lui était donné d'un seul coup et pour toujours. Ce monde resplendissant n'avait pas de frontières. It avançait, se déployait, s'amplifiait et tournoyait comme une route qui serpente (204).
https://books.google.com/books?id=B9D-DwAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&dq=jr+gaddis&hl=en&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&source=gb_mobile_search&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi8wc-s5-eIAxXbF1kFHSC7OEQQ6AF6BAgHEAM#v=onepage&q=jr%20gaddis&f=false
I do not know about this, but I bought it.
https://www.liberreview.com/issue-1-5-let-me-love-you-like-a-woman/
https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Easy_Life/RPl8EAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&pg=PA4&printsec=frontcover
I did not set out to buy a book on the Liber review, but I found the review after the fact.
https://www.chronicle.com/article/affluent-white-students-are-skipping-college-and-no-one-is-sure-why
https://youtu.be/Ewg2Mp_j-_g?si=ZZV3Bane9a5Lb74h
Another along the line of Marlen Haushofer's Der Wand/The Wall (1963):
https://www.google.com/books/edition/Night_Work/UV6vFOF08UgC?hl=en&gbpv=1&pg=PA1&printsec=frontcover
The key will be to read in each the hermeneutic turn, and possibility for transcendence. For instance, when one is alone one can be completely steadfast in one's devotion to G-d. The impediments and excuses have fallen away, and instead of saying a prayer for the obligation's sake, one realizes how much it helps one keep oneself together.
Shacharit, Minchah, Maarvit for the dawn, noon and evenings of the world with the corresponding generations of the patriarchs: Avraham (dawn), Yitzak (noon), and Yaakov (evening). As the days and generations of mankind devolve remaining faithful and spiritually intact is more challenging.
https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Hebrew_Letters/bDLZl-Kjj_8C?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=Hebrew%20letter%20vav%20hachibur&pg=PA94&printsec=frontcover
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